Fighting in the Dark (The Diary of a Cancer Survivor)

I am standing on the Afgani border in the dark without any detection or sensor equipment.

It is the middle of the night and I can't see or hear my enemy -- I am blind to his whereabouts.

When will he strike, and where? From which direction and what kind of artillery will he use?

So many questions, so many options . . . I am terrified.

Yet somehow I struggle through the darkness and the enemy has not struck me again.

Waiting

They never ask if they can accompany me to the appointment,

But rather show up a few days in advance unannounced.

I try to forget about them, but they have a strong grasp on my psyche.

When I arrive at the doctor's office, they are ever present;

I am unable to put them out of my head as I did in the days before.

I sit down to wait and they are on both sides of me, sitting down next to me for the interim.

"Worry," I try to say with as much confidence as I can muster, "would you mind terrribly if I

asked you to go sit on the other side of the room?" "Sorry," he replies, "I'm told not to leave

you." I turn to Anxiety on my left, smoking a cigarette and tapping his foot, "Could you kindly

retreat to the hall?" "Nope," he manages between vigorous puffs, "You're my oxygen."

My thoughts race as I try to rise from the bench and get free from the grip of these fiends, but I

am paralyzed. My cell phone receives a text message and I open it -- it is from Peace. She says

that if I accept Worry and Anxiety they will get bored and leave. You are an Angel, I reply.

I put my phone away and look at the devilish imps as I say, "I understand why you are here.

I am only human." Anxiety gets frustrated and grunts as Worry throws his hands in the

air. Anxiety stands up and says "We can't do any more here! Let's go get a cup of coffee." And

as they leave the room, I'm just a little more at peace.

There is no Good Title for This Poem

It is so wrong that love isn't enough,

Because there is more than enough of that.

I would follow anywhere you lead,

But this is what you said we have to do.

You are much stronger than me,

I would have never had the strength.

And even when there is no longer a "we", I will love you forever

And I will always treasure the gifts you have given me.

Peace

Peace will come because

I can get the thoughts

down on paper and and out of my head,

where, like a tumor,

they can torment me no more.

The Cancer

Controlling,
Absent
Nerves
Cannot effectively
Escape
Retribution

Disquieting

Disquieting... are the thoughts that keep running through my head as I lie here alone, in the dark, unable to fall back to sleep...why ME? Why CANCER?

Thoughts and worries flash through my head, keeping me awake, disquieting.

How will this all work out? Can this all work out?

Why can't they understand two people can love each other too much?

And I wonder -- will I ever be able to sleep peacefully again?

Waltz with the Stars

The absence of noise that is quiet is transformed in beauty...

As the lush green trees become the melody while the perfect pale blue sky is harmony as the sun fades into an overture.

The chatter parts and makes room for the notes to soar through the park and waltz with the stars in a ballroom that is blanketed by a navy sky.

Cancer

As I sit here,

looking at the barren branches,

I feel it is the winter of my discontent.

They are bare, everywhere, as I am,

because they ravaged me.

Though I know every year,

Spring comes again.